Real World Audition Tape
Back in college, where this AskArora thing first started, my friends and I were always fucking around. Pranks, parties, you name it. Most I remember from college how much time I spent in class thinking of things I’d like to do when I got out of class. Man, high school classes were so much more laid back and fun. I guess people don’t like to jackoff in college classes when they’re playing up the ass for it. Not to mention it was an art school… Art school is gay.
While riding the subway I was reading an article about audition tapes for reality television. Turns out the people who screen these things aren’t impressed by medium shots of norms bragging and begging about why they should be on the show. One example included a guy trying to fit himself into a refrigerator - and than bitchin’ at his girlfriend taping it when he couldn’t get it done! What a dick! He also may be a genius because it worked.
That’s when it hit me - a football someone was tossing on the train. I threw it back and shrugged it off. After that though, an idea came to mind!
My ex girlfriend use to carry a small container of Mace on her keychain. Whenever I held it I’d be tempted to spray some at myself. Call is masochistic, I call it juvenile curiosity.
Anyway I decided that would be my audition tape. It wouldn’t be enough though, so I decided that I would try and do 30 pushups right after. Nice eh?!…
How awesome are my roommates for not even trying to keep count? Now I know it wasn’t any industrial strength Dinosaur Mace but, holy vagina of the Virgin Mary, that shit hurt so God damn much! I was squeezing my eyes shut with so much force that any attempt to loosen the kungfu grip of my lids would make it hurt more. All I thought was, did I fucking reach 30 yet?!! The pain lasts about a half hour, the burning sensation on the surrounding area last a few hours, and the bruise on my hip form crashing into the tub lasted roughly 2 days (also caught on tape)
I started a facebook group (back when facebook was still coming along) and thought if I could get 1,000 people to join, I’d mail the footage with the group tally and see what happened. It got to about 700 when my hard drive crashed. FML. That’s not all - when creating the group I accidentally added an extra “0.” How the fuck was I gonna get 10,000 people to join a group encouraging an idiot that mace’s himself???
Pretty dope though! Fuck yea! And original! Fuck yea! Can’t argue that.
UPDATE
My buddies encouraged me to give it a shot again, so. If you liked what you saw do this dude a favor and join this group! Also, tell your friends! I promise if I were to get into the house, you’ll be invited for the shit show! ..Thanks! I love you. I really do!
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