Finger Drumming
This is probably the dopest things you’ll see… for the while.
The Best Job On Earth!
Ever go streaking? Or at least wonder what a thrill it would be like if you did? I bet you’d do it if you know you could reverse time and wipe it from the memories of everyone who saw. Or even skinny dipping. Dude, what a rush!
In my opinion nude models have the absolute best job satisfaction in the world. Not the skeazy, heart wrenching models Soul Asylum taught us ride runaway trains. Prideful ones. Everyday they get absolutely bare ass in front of a whole production crew and stand around acting as slutty/classy/seductive while strutting what God gave them and everyone else. It’s not like they’ve got something you don’t? Still, we love lookin’ at them. Go ahead and google “nipple.” The first suggestion you’re going to get is “slips.”
Porn stars are even better! They combine the rush of being naked in public with the euphoria of busting a nut! When I was younger, I use to convince my girlfriend to leave the hotel room door open while we set off the poke detector. That was awesome! Now imagine if someone had actually walked by. Would I have kept going? Probably. Would she have? Erects me to think so!
On top of that, porn starts get paid to do it! Now a lot of people - mostly women - will say it’s demeaning and grotesque to fornicate without emotional attachment with hundreds of guys and let another million masturbate to it afterwards. First off, there is an emotional attachment. Its being horny. Feeling horny is an emotion and I sure as fuck am pretty damn attached to it. But more importantly it’s these same people that spend 8 hours a day selling cars to sucekrs that don’t need em, buying the cheaper sheetrock for a construction project to put a little more in their pockets, and not giving any money to someone who asks because they’ve convinced themselves in the 4 seconds it takes to walk passed them that they really do need it more than the homeless person. My hairy ass. How’s that for demeaning and grotesque? What porn stars actually did was wake up one day and say “I’m going to spend the rest of my life doing something I love (in this case, sex) and using the inane amount of money I earn getting a life time membership to a gym and living wherever my little heart desires.” ..that sounds like a familiar goal, right?
A study I didn’t read said that most people like the idea of earning a living exercising your libido, but fear what their friends and family will think. I can understand that. My parents would kill me if I were a porn star and on top of that I’m the middle of a big fam. But at the same time, if I really wanted to do it, I would! My only problem is I don’t feel like putting the amount of time needed to slice up in order to be able to be on set with an A lister, and I sure as shit am not going to kick it with a hairy porker just to be a porn star! Therefor I doubt I’d make a lot of money doing it. Sure you could say I’m only saying that because I don’t have to prove it. But bare in mind my famalam is going to read this at some point. But getting back; if I really, wholeheartedly wanted to be a porn star, I would because ultimately it’s your life and inevitably at some point you’ll be living it for yourself. So fuck it… No pun intended. Ehh!!?!
Then there are those people who say porn stars do nothing for the world, that the way they choose to live doesn’t help anyone, and therefore is selfish. Nice try Doc.. But is that what you were saying when firing out some knuckle soldiers during those late study sessions over in med school? With all the unimaginable amount of hours put into your computer - the magical porno portal of the universe - I’ll bet my sex life you would’ve jumped ship had you not been given a reason to hide a dirty sock at the bottom of your bin. Or how bout any average shmuck who needs a little preheating before becoming hot and heavy with the wifey. Or how about all those guys who came across those dirty magazines in their dad’s office or at their friend’s house and how much they learned reading the articles and studying the pictures…. How about all the girls now sleeping with those sexually educated guys. …Yea, exactly. Sit down and shut up.
Ever sit back to think about what porn has done for humanity? Think, Pleasantville.
So three barks to porn stars and nude models for baring it all and telling the world “I’m hot. And fuckin’ loving this.” I’ll be the first to say I wish I had it in me… or should I say her!
Bro Rape
Oldie, but a fucking goody!
A Story About Sex - click.
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