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Arora,
My wingman is a complete tool. Can you teach em a couple of things?
Coram, Long Island
Answer:
^ The Ultimate Wingman ^
The Role of the Wingman is important and though this list is long, keep in mind it all happens over and over again during the course of one night at the bar. On special occasions your boy may ask you to be his wingman for the night while working on a specific assignment. Accept with honor. Otherwise during a regular night out with the guys you’ll switch roles over and again because 9/10 times you and or your boy will get rejected before you ever state your names. It’s not your fault. You’re a fuckin’ stud! Most girls are just trick ass pigeons.
The Rules to being a good [but not too good] wingman.
10. Get HIM laid, not you! Keep in mind as the wingman, your job is to be there for your boy. The A man. He brought you out to help him. He vulnerably asked you to aid him in his game. That’s a fucking honor dude, take it as a complement and make his penis your main priority, not yours!
9. Make him look good. If he tells a funny story, laugh. If he runs out of something to talk about, speak up. If his beer is running low, get the guy a fucking beer!
8. Keep the wingchic entertained. Women move in packs. Ever see a pack of 4 women get approached by 4 guys? If one guy gets rejected all the ladies walk. Do guys act like that? Fuck no!? Bottom line: your boy’s girl has a friend. Don’t just be a kick-stand. If she likes you, you’re both in.
7. Watch for a sinking ship. Your boy’s game might start to fade, ie: he gets boring. If so, be the guy to take control of the conversation and bring up the life. Steer for him.
6. Be ready to take hits. Don’t be afraid to go on a kamakaze mission. A good tactic is to go into a group of girls and make a complete shmuck out of yourself (don’t be rude though) and let your A man come and act as the charming Mr. Nice Guy and clean things up. Remember, its his penis on the line!
5. Show the girls how big his dick is. Be ready with a set of stories that talk him up. Don’t be obnoxious with it though or it will have a reverse effect. Slip em in when the conversation calls for it and put some enthusiasm into your work!
4. Be positive. Your boy looks awesome. Those girls want him. He will get laid.
3. Remember he’s your boy. This goes for both Wingman and A-man. If at any point, A-man, you notice your girl prefers your wingman over you, step aside and switch roles. Don’t be a bitch, you’ll get yours next time and he’ll owe you.
2. All for one and one for All. If he doesn’t get laid, you don’t get laid (unless of course A-man’s cool with going home alone, which he will be [unless you're his ride]). On the other hand, if he gets laid, it doesn’t matter just how grotesque your assignment is, you’re getting laid. Why? Refer back to Rule #8.
1. Follow the Rules.
