Arora,

I have been dating my boyfriend for five years, we’ll call him A. I broke up with him when I met boy C, and C knows this. I met C through a friend B. C and I started hanging out a lot and then we hooked up. We hung out a few times after and continued to hook up. He went home (to his parents house) last week and now he is back and I have not heard from him.

For two weeks we spoke everyday, but he went on vacation from work the past two weeks and went home. Now he is back at work and acting shady. Also, I told him I didn’t want to worry about titles the last time we hooked up because I had just gotten out of a long relationship, but he knows I like him. Its not that simple though. B found out we hooked up and is pissed and C said it was the end of us because he didnt realize his friend B liked me. I knew B liked me but didn’t care.  The next day I texted C and said if hes not interested and is using B as an excuse then I will leave him alone but he should talk to B cause I really like him and C said he would get in touch with B.

Now its been 3 days and I haven’t heard from him. What happened? Was I too clingy? Its not fair though- he told me it was scary how much he liked me. Did I go too far too soon? I’d known him for a while before we hooked up and he seemed like an actual nice boy so I don’t get it.  Could it really be because he wants to get B’s permission and has not been able to get in touch with him? What
is the deal?

Upper West, NY

Answer:

Holy shit babe, next time write a book and send me a copy. But I will thank you for reviewing with me my ABC’s. 

Alright lets map this out:

1. You were with A for 5 years, then dipped on him for C. 

2. You met C through B who likes you and you know that. 

3. You been hooking up with C without B or A knowing. 

4. When B finds out he flips on C and now C wont talk to you because B is upset?

5. All the while A’s role has been useless since line 2. 

You should really take you’re own advice. You recently came out of a 5 year relationship, why the f*ck are you jumping back into one right away? You were obviously bored of your relationship with A. So bored the second a guy shows some charming interest, C, you get attached. 

But to answer your question: C probably just lost interest. I know it sounds terrible and I’m sure he is a really nice guy but if you guys moved as quickly as you did, there wasn’t enough time to build value (as my boss would say). So the second shit came up with B, he figured fuck it, I got what I wanted… again I know it’s a deuchey thing to say but it’s also very possible. 

It’s also possible that he does really like you, but actually abides by the unwritten rule of ”bros befo’ hoes” and therefore killed the whole thing for B. If you want to prevent that in the future, again make the relationship worth it. How? GIVE US A CHASE! If you just want bootie, get it and dip. Trust me, we’re not gonna feel offended. But if you want us to want more, move slower. Keep us wondering and therefore working for it. That way, after we get a bite of the pie, we’ll find ourselves thinking ”my god, that pie was awesome! I think I’d like some more tomorrow! I–I don’t know why? Wasn’t any different from that other pie but, but it taste so much better… I think I’m in lo–  oh shit.” 

Don’t go calling him like a psycho. That’s just awful. Instead I’d tell you to consider what it is you want. Are you looking for another long term relationship? If so, is reconsidering guy A an option? If your sure you’re not looking for a commitment then relax, bitch! Roll with the punches! Let shit take its course. It’s the dating scene; you’re not supposed to have much control over it, just enjoy the spontinatity of it all. You keep falling so hard so fast, you’ll end up like Mariah.  No wait, wait I got a better one: You keep falling so hard so fast, you’ll have to change your name to Humpty Dumpty.  BAZING! Anyway, don’t call excessively, he’ll call you I assure you. 

WWAD?

Enjoy the random play and new personalities you’ll meet while single. Eventually you’ll fall for one and never expect it. It’ll be the dude who does it all for you. Till then, go to Arora; he’ll rock yo world!